I remember the first class I ever assisted.
I had taken this teacher’s class about a hundred times and thought she was all that and a bag of potato chips.
I was in YTT (yoga teacher training) and asked her if I could assist one of her classes. To be clear, I was terrified. I almost didn’t ask her.
There were easily 60 people in her class, all staring at me as she introduced me at the beginning of class.
I trembled my way through the assists I was taught in YTT.
Then came savasana….I didn’t realize I wasn’t supposed to assist EVERY SINGLE GOD DAMN PERSON in the class. But I did.
60 people got a savasana assist.
Bless my teacher, she watched patiently as I made it through everyone.
It probably took a whole 15 minutes.
Afterward, she gently pointed out it wasn’t efficient to get through everyone and I could just focus on 1 or 2 students.
I nearly died of embarrassment.
I took everything so seriously back then.
It’s easy to forget what it’s like to be new at something. To be so afraid to try something because we’re afraid we’re going to fuck it up and embarrass ourselves.
Well, it’s pretty much a guarantee. We’re going to fuck up. And someone might laugh at us.
I’m getting more comfortable with the embarrassing myself part.
I could get all weird about seeing myself on camera and realizing there are NO FLATTERING ANGLES ON VIDEO but why? It’s just going to hold me back.
And maybe by my 50th video, it won’t be so bad.