Valentine’s day used to be so simple.
It was just a day where I wore pink, ate shitty candy and looked forward to a card from mom.
Now I see how complicated it can be for people. If they don’t have “someone” it’s a terrible day. Or they have “someone” and feel bad about the state of their relationship. Or they feel the need to scream their happiness about their “someone” in front of anyone who lands on their Facebook page.
And what’s so wrong with proclaiming your love for someone?
Or showing disdain for a holiday?
Well…where’s it coming from?
A while back (the therapy years) I remember talking about a boy I liked but he didn’t like me back. My therapist asked me what it would feel like to love them anyway, without them loving me back.
This took awhile for me to fully grasp, but the idea that I could enjoy the feeling of love all on my own, without someone else, was groundbreaking.
There’s a certain joy in loving something just for the sake of loving it.
We get stuck in the trap of only giving our attention and affection to people (and things) that give it right back. Especially if we get to label it as “ours”.
There’s freedom in knowing that we are not our possessions (people and things).
We can love them, then let them be. We’re not worrying about how things look to others, or what they’ll become down the road.
And before we realize it, we’re living in the moment. That’s a feeling I’d call love.
Speaking of love, today’s the day I send out this “interview” with Maya – have I mentioned I’mobsessed?
And also mortified at the same time. Listening to yourself on tape is like walking around without skin. I feel so naked behind my “likes” and nervous ticks.
But who would I be if I didn’t post it anyway? It’s good practice for the next one. There will be a next one.
Thankfully my beautiful friend Maya is well spoken and full of insights. Everything she says is incredible. I’ve made notes below in case you want to skip ahead, but I recommend listening to the whole 38 minutes.
1:40 – How we know it’s the right time to go to therapy?
3:40 – What to look for in a therapist
4:45 – It’s about you, not your therapist
6:37 – Online vs. in person therapy
9:21 – How much does therapy cost?
12:47 – Tips for lower cost insurance
14:50 – How long do I have to go?
18:45 – How to feel comfortable “going deeper” on sensitive topics
22:38 – How does it work?
26:15 – Judgment around therapy
29:50 – What do I get out of therapy?
32:58 – Correlations between yoga and therapy
35:20 – Being the best version of yourself
36:00 – Building insight
One last thing – this was supposed to be a video. But technology isn’t my thing (apparently) and I only got the audio to work.
But this is great! Because here are a few ideas on where to listen to this:
During a workout
Washing the dishes
A restorative yoga session
Taking your dog on a walk
I know, almost all of those are chores. But even cleaning your house can be fun if you have a podcast/music/Danielle/Maya playing.
PS. IF YOU LISTEN TO THIS – please send me your favorite thing about it. I want to create more content like this and in order to do so I want to know what resonates with you. It can be a quick email and I will love you forever. You know without attachment 😉