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why did you say that out loud?

by practicewithdanielle

I hate thinking about #metoo as a “movement” or “a culture” or “a moment in time”. That’s basically saying this shit is new or that this fad will pass.

Of course, lots of time in the news is spent talking about whose responsibility it is to fix.

Is it women who are the subject of gross commentary?

Is it men who stand by and watch it happen?

Is it the parents who raise their children to be gropey monsters?

Or their spouses who allow the behavior in their house?

Is it all of us? Do we each take a small piece of that responsibility?

The most intense celebrity stories get the coverage. I get how the news works. But what about the small, insidious things that happen all the time?

I had a gross thing happen today.

My boss made a comment about how my body type isn’t typical of a yoga body and therefore it’s radical that I share it online. That my body is the first thing he notices/sees on my Instagram page.

Ew, why did you say that out loud?

To be sure, he didn’t mean anything by it. It wasn’t a bully comment. I know what those look like.

Saying things about women’s bodies and appearances is normal in his world. And I know that – because he makes comments like this (and bully comments) about other women all the time.

I texted a friend and I’m over it.

But what do I do with this now?

Do I get the responsibility of having a conversation with him?
Or do I brush it off as a shitty comment and just grow a thicker skin?
Can I just block him on Instagram?

I’m a little nervous sharing this story for fear of judgment around how I deal with this pretty small but annoying situation.

I have to say the best thing that’s come out of #metoo are the people sharing their stories. Even if they aren’t filled with details or warrant any repercussions. It shows that situations like this, big or small, happen all the time.

And most of the time it goes unnoticed. 

But to someone who’s starting their career or is even more sensitive than most – it could be devastating to them in small ways.

It feels therapeutic and terrifying to share this with another person. Saying it out loud makes it real, and it’s comforting to have another person recognize it as such.

If you want to share a story (big or small) of your own, I’m all ears. I won’t share it with others (unless you want me to).

Now go practice yoga in whatever body you have.

Danielle

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2 comments

Heidi Selig June 11, 2019 - 3:15 pm

Your writing and your stated purpose for sharing it just knock me out. So glad I stumbled upon this blog of yours today, while staring at a galette on Pinterest, I want to be you!! lol, despite being twice your age…I agree with everything I’ve read of yours, LOUDLY!

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practicewithdanielle June 11, 2019 - 3:50 pm

Ha! I love this Heidi! Thanks for reading 🙂

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